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I think it only fair to make available the history and exploits of the legendary SEADOGS, my beloved 1976 3.0si, to the SSR rank and file, and especially those innocents who travelled far afield to join the wee band gathering at Snug Harbor for E3 Fest East ' 01. My life with this car began on September 2, 1993. My son wanted something to drive while attending Jr. College in Charleston, SC, but because of his blemished credit and driving records (can you relate?), I decided that rather than buy him a car, I would buy ME a car, and let him pay for the expense of using it, including the monthly payment. (I've never bought anything but food outright, a sign of end-stage Yuppiness.) He and his mother (my wife at the time) were both a bit miffed at my plan, but as it was his only option, he and I went looking for used cars - especially BMWs. SEADOGS was a gorgeous California car - silver with red leather, sitting in the driveway of the only person I've ever met who kids around more than I do, which explains why he was so obnoxious, and a comedic writer for "The Fresh Prince" TV show. It was love at first sight (for the car, I mean), so my boy got a big old gas-guzzling car to drive to school. When he did not keep up his end of the deal (i.e. dad was right, again!), I repossessed the car, to mutinous murmurings from the First Mate and crew. So what's new, eh, dads?

Other cars have come and gone, including a '92 325is (my first Bimmer since buying a new 1973 2002), a '95 m3, a '95 M3 Lightweight, an '85 Salmon Silver Euro M5 (twice), and my current '93 Euro M5 Touring, "MARGAUX," the best car I've ever owned. None of these has had the staying power of SEADOGS or done as many driver schools. It is of some importance that I am a second-generation E3 owner. My father purchased a new burgundy Bavaria about 1972, but quickly got rid of it after it attacked his garage (in the hands of my teenage brother) and the water pump went bust (imagine!) at Christmas, while he was travelling up I-95 to Richmond, VA from Pope AFB in Fayetteville, NC, to buy a present for my mother who was staying at their previous home in Hampton, VA. (Military life is a bear!) He was justifiably put-out with German unreliability. I still remember travelling to Bubba's Garage in West Podunk, VA to pickup the car. Bubba, of course, didn't know a BMW from a hole in the ground. My dad quickly offed the car and never looked back. My mother still remembers that the car always smelled of gasoline! In my early 20's at the time, I must have been subliminally and fatally programmed to buy an E3, although I never even drove his car. My dream has come true! SEADOGS is mine, apparently forever.

For some inexplicable reason, sometime in 1994, I struck upon the idea of doing One Lap Of America 1995 in my repossessed 3.0si. Sort of a lemons-to-lemonade thing. The flame was fanned by catching a ride with Russ Wiles in the '94 OLOA red M3 (he barely got 2nd place to Price Cobb, Le Mans winner, in a factory Porsche) at the O'Fest '94 driver school at NHIS. Sadly, I drove an identical red M3 (mine) at the driver school, but for some reason, it didn't perform as well as his car. Inspired, I proceded to spend every dollar I could (some of which I'm still spending) on SEADOGS, exchanging the automatic for a 633 5-speed, adding ST racing springs, ST sway bars, Bilstein shocks, radiator, fan clutch, water pump (I have hereditary pumposis), electronic ignition, plus-2 wheels & tires, repaint, and, one week before One Lap (!!!), a new head for the one that just cracked (to the tune of $2,500). I was committed to go (some folks think I should have been committed elsewhere), so no amount of credit card debt would deter me! (What an idiot!)

I also had to convince my soon-to-be-ex-wife and two adult children to go with me on the penultimate family holiday: One Lap of America! I figured it was my last chance to make or break a dying marriage/family situation. In retrospect, it didn't make any difference to the marriage, but my son & daughter learned what you can do if you really put your mind to it, and that is invaluable, unless it's something stupid, like... well, never mind. I'm proud to report, that as of this writing, my daughter is spending two years in Mali, West Africa, with the Peace Corps, in a village with no electricity or running water - she learned how to do this stuff on One Lap of America! (No kidding.)

No race drivers we, my son & I did a few BMW CCA driver schools to get ready, and off we went. Our class included Gordon Medenica's M1 (co-driver was Scott Hughes), a red Pantera driven by a young man and his father in law (!), a DeLorean whose color I disremember (did you know they had Volvo engines?), a Rabbit GTI one of whose drivers weighed at least 300 lbs., and a beater Prelude entered in the "Claimer Class" (i.e. cost less than $1,000, and anyone in the class could claim any other claimer car at the end of the event) entered by "Car & Driver" staffers. We got 5th (we beat the Prelude), but we got SEADOGS' picture in the October 1995 "Car & Driver" At this writing, SEADOGS is the only E3 to have completed - or dared - One Lap of America.

During the event, the drive shaft center support reamed itself out producing a loud thumping on the bottom of the car under acceleration (especially with a car full of people & gear). Although this was somewhat annoying, the car pressed-on regardless, and we completed the event. There was so much negative camber in the rear that we blew a rear tire inner sidewall at 80 mph on the 800 mile trip home to Columbia, SC from Detroit, after the 800 mile trip there, and the 4,300 mile event. Other than the heater being on regardless of setting, thereby rendering the A/C about worthless, and the passenger windows being permanently up due to inop motors, and the original radio being out (since I've owned the car), things went smoothly... with the car.

The crew was another matter altogether, but we endured the event and each other, which I take no little pride in. One Lap Of America is metaphorical for life - it's harder than you thought it would be when you started, but if you persevere (and pray like crazy) you can make it to the end successfully. Of course, everybody makes it to the end, but not all do it well.

One Lap is the quintessential motorhead event in this hemisphere. Rank amateurs, we rubbed elbows with the likes of Russ Wiles, John Buffum, and Randy Pobst (who got 3rd in the M3 recycled by T.C. Kline, that John Buffum had blown-up in '94). And the cars! My favorite was a mauve Dodge Charger from Canada that hit 176 mph at Atlanta Motor Speedway. Erik Wensberg of BMW NA called me in February, 1996 to put what he thought was my 3.0CSi in a music video, "Old Man & Me," by Columbia's own Hootie & the Blowfish. Once we had come to an understanding that SEADOGS was a 3.0si (i.e. a real car), he said he'd call me back. My heart sank, but fortunately he decided to go ahead with SEADOGS. The other car in the video was a Z3 assembled in part by H & tBF. We shot on St. Patricks Day, while H & tBF played a gig in Five Points (college spot), distant from our shoot - I never did see them! But, if you slow the video way down, you can just see the blurry door handles pass by the camera! This really miffed BMW NA, who had put each of the Blowfish in a BMW for a year, free. Subsequent videos have more visible BMWs. Still and all, SEADOGS got a free detailing and $200 from BMW NA, which I used for SANDLAPPER 01, a charitable organization under whose auspices I ran SEADOGS, and my M3 LTW (without me), in the '95 & '98 One Laps, respectively.

SEADOGS got his name because he transported me, Buzz (my Jack Russell), and spike (my American Bulldog) to and from Ocracoke Island, NC, via ferry; and he was in the Ocracoke Island 4th of July Parade twice. Blackbeard the Pirate used to hang-out there, until he lost his head, which is sort of what I did with this car. I am SEADOG because I am an old Soldier of the Sea (Marine) and lover of things maritime. Now in semiretirement, SEADOGS is still a delight to drive, and perennially for sale. It's only when I bear down on my M5 Touring that I am reminded of the technological advances wrought since the 70s. But I'm not sure the newer cars are really any more fun to drive than SEADOGS, and you can't wear a fedora in them!

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!

SEADOGS & SEADOG
9:36 AM 03/24/2001